When I die I want to be remembered. In order to be remembered, I’ve always thought that I’ve needed to be focused on being an extraordinary person doing extraordinary things. I want my story to be unique, full of life, and so astonishing that mouths will drop, eyes will not blink, and tears might flow. I think that we all want this to some degree. In some way it communicates to our hearts that if we inspire such a reaction, that we’ve led a meaningful life. Too bad we’ll be dead before our hearts hear that message. Although it sounded alright at first, I had it all wrong. Perhaps now, however, I think I’m one step closer to understanding my final chapter and the desired alternate ending that will live in my heart daily.
When Shane McConkey died I was shocked, surprised, sad, and happy. When I reviewed his story I was in awe. I watched the tribute section on In Deep over and over again and I will admit that I was emotionally moved. I think his heart will be happy to know how people responded to his death. I think its the perfect ending to “Shane’s” perfect story. This was the type of ending that I’ve always dreamed about. Not necessarily the way it happened or what he left behind, but the way he lived his life… he did it all! When I began to think a little more about it however, my perspective changed. It all started with the question, “When I die…”?
When Shane died I cried. Wow…what a life! His life resembled achievements of lifetime goals, daring first ascents, being an innovator of ski-basing and the icon of extreme skiing, the guy everybody liked, and the life of the party. He lived the american dream and his bucket list has been satisfied. That’s why all of us are in awe. He did it, and for some weird reason we are all jealous! American culture is all about keeping up with the Jones’, even unto death. He is where he is, and he could be saying to himself, “I did it! I lived a full life, I did it all, and I am the Icon that transcended the sport”. I’ll admit that I’m jealous and I would have loved to have lived that dream. But, I know that I’ve missed the point. Watch the tribute video about Shane. This is an amazing story and it will give you chills!
No disrespect to Shane, but I don’t want this type of story anymore. When I die I want people to cry because I made a difference in their lives. I want people to say that I inspired them to step out of their safe place, to search the depths of their broken heart, to learn about the peace of God, to allow God to mend all their spiritual sufferings, to accept Jesus as their savior, and to die to themselves everyday so that they can love others like Jesus loves the church. In the end, I don’t want people to be jealous of me and my life, but rather, I want them to know that God is jealous for them.
“I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead ” (Revelations 3:1)
“All that matters is the reality of who we are before God” (Francis Chan – Crazy Love)
I want to live a full life, but I don’t want to live every day selfishly. During my funeral, I don’t want others to praise the life I lived because they feel forced to as they dig for words. I want my actions to have spoken to them at a deeper level. I want them to be impacted by God and I want their joy renewed in a way that only Christ can provide. I dream that they would dig deep to pursue Him and be transformed by their relationship with Him. If we lived our lives like we would die tomorrow, than we could spend more time reaching others. Through that process our hearts could be transformed moment by moment. In the end (at death), we won’t need the praise of others (would be hard to get, regardless) because we will be at peace, our hearts will have already been filled by God, and His glory will now shine through us and on to others.
OH, HONEY! I am SO PROUD of the man you are! I love how you are lifting your life to God and allowing Him to do with you as He wills. He is SO filling your heart, and you need to know that you are ALREADY touching people in the various ways you mention above! I, for one, am one of those lives! Your influence on my life has been so positive! So amazing! I thank you for how you have also encouraged me to move out of my safe places; how you have inspired me to allow God to do a deeper work in my heart………our children are already blessed to have you as their Daddy. And I am so very blessed to call you husband and best friend! I love you with all my heart. Keep pushing forward, and looking UP! xoxoxoxoxoxo
Jeff, I watched the video and I’m amazed at what Shane accomplished in his short life. He lived life to the fullest he could. What is sad for me in this story is when I think about if that sense of adventure had been turned towards God. What would he have accomplished for God’s kingdom. I don’t know where his heart was when he passed, but I didn’t see/hear any mention of God in the video. When I die, I want to be a light for others. I fall short all the time, but that is the desire of my heart. i’m so thankful for God’s grace and love and I want to live the life that God want’s for me.
I look up to you and see you living that life. You’ve come a long ways with your spiritual journey and I feel that God is directing you in His story. It makes me proud to call you my friend and brother. You give me encouragement and light within my own journey.
God Bless!!