When I die I want to be remembered.  In order to be remembered, I’ve always thought that I’ve needed to be focused on being an extraordinary person doing extraordinary things.  I want my story to be unique, full of life, and so astonishing that mouths will drop, eyes will not blink, and tears might flow.  I think that we all want this to some degree.  In some way it communicates to our hearts that if we inspire such a reaction, that we’ve led a meaningful life.  Too bad we’ll be dead before our hearts hear that message.   Although it sounded alright at first, I had it all wrong.  Perhaps now, however, I think I’m one step closer to understanding my final chapter and the desired alternate ending that will live in my heart daily.

When Shane McConkey died I was shocked, surprised, sad, and happy.  When I reviewed his story I was in awe.  I watched the tribute section on In Deep over and over again and I will admit that I was emotionally moved.  I think his heart will be happy to know how people responded to his death.  I think its the perfect ending to “Shane’s” perfect story.  This was the type of ending that I’ve always dreamed about.  Not necessarily the way it happened or what he left behind, but the way he lived his life… he did it all!  When I began to think a little more about it however, my perspective changed.  It all started with the question, “When I die…”?

When Shane died I cried.  Wow…what a life!  His life resembled achievements of lifetime goals, daring first ascents, being an innovator of ski-basing and the icon of extreme skiing, the guy everybody liked, and the life of the party.  He lived  the american dream and his bucket list has been satisfied.  That’s why all of us are in awe.  He did it, and for some weird reason we are all jealous!  American culture is all about keeping up with the Jones’, even unto death.  He is where he is, and he could be saying to himself, “I did it!  I lived a full life, I did it all, and I am the Icon that transcended the sport”.  I’ll admit that I’m jealous and I would have loved to have lived that dream.  But, I know that I’ve missed the point.  Watch the tribute video about Shane.  This is an amazing story and it will give you chills!

No disrespect to Shane, but I don’t want this type of story anymore.  When I die I want people to cry because I made a difference in their lives.  I want people to say  that I inspired them to step out of their safe place, to search the depths of their broken heart, to learn about the peace of God, to allow God to mend all their spiritual sufferings,  to accept Jesus as their savior, and to die to themselves everyday so that they can love others like Jesus loves the church.  In the end, I don’t want people to be jealous of me and my life, but rather, I want them to know that God is jealous for them.

“I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead ” (Revelations 3:1)

“All that matters is the reality of who we are before God” (Francis Chan – Crazy Love)

I want to live a full life, but I don’t want to live every day selfishly.  During my funeral, I don’t want others to praise the life I lived because they feel forced to as they dig for words.  I want my actions to have spoken to them at a deeper level.  I want them to be impacted by God and I want their joy renewed in a way that only Christ can provide.  I dream that they would dig deep to pursue Him and be transformed by their relationship with Him.  If we lived our lives like we would die tomorrow, than we could spend more time reaching others.  Through that process our hearts could be transformed moment by moment.  In the end (at death), we won’t need the praise of others (would be hard to get, regardless) because we will be at peace, our hearts will have already been filled by God, and His glory will now shine through us and on to others.